misUnderstanding the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine

The Divine… the One…. God….

…However we define that one connection we have to define doesn’t matter. I had this idea… It was SOOOO inspirational. coming straight from the divine feminine …i try to put it words. Cant rememmber one thing. two part s of my brain. the masculine energy tries to put things in order. byt the creative side is so .. power ful . it makes mistakes and learns. the masculine side tries to makes sense. …slow things. but the feminine goes so fast. its not the best but there are good ideas in the mix .

Dreaming of Time Travel?

Had another weird dream. But this one was hella detailed. So at first it just feels like a normal dream. I’m with my family but their ages are quite different. My mom tells me to look after my brother. I look at him like,

“uh who’s this kid. My brother is way older” I’m confused but I don’t say anything. We’re at church but an older church we used to attend back in the day. My sister tells me she wants to sing in the choir at a different church, and I’m like why?

She tells me because she doesn’t need a license there? For some reason people need a license to sing? She tells me I never needed one and I could just walk up in the choir. I’m still confused.

The choir isn’t organized they are scattered throughout the church and congregation. It looks more like a party than a church.

Something doesn’t sit right and I’m looking at my little brother is very much a child…and immature. (Granted he was always difficult) My mother and I assist him to the bathroom…err carry him. I ask to humor me and tell me what year it is. She giggles and looks confused. But I’m serious. I tell her I remember my brother being older and taller than her.

She seems amazed at this information and tells me it’s the year 661. Now I’m really confused. How can it be 661? What happens at year 666? 😳 . She even shows me the date on her phone as proof.

There’s weird drag queen like men in the bathroom and a guy sitting in the urinal with his dog. I tell her my year is 2022 but I think we calculated time different.

When my brother is done doing his business and we go back into the sanctuary. They are playing an instrumental version of the “Jump off” by lil Kim…who yes is at Church too. That song was released in 2003 so I’m trying to do the math. The crowd is hype but it doesn’t feel like “church” but some weird alternate world where church is a club.

I wake up. Just writing down to remember. Trying to remember my trip to the upside down world. 😳

Key Points to Manifesting

There are a few key points to manifesting that people need to ALWAYS stay conscious of.

  1. Whatever your conscious mind focuses on DAILY will be felt and PROGRAMMED in the subconscious mind.
    1. What are you “bingeing” your mind on consistently?
    2. How do you feel when you hold these thoughts?
    3. The universe is a spiritual algorithm and will send you people, experiences, and/or situations based on those continual thoughts.
  2. Be aware of the unconscious messages we are receiving throughout the day/ night because the subconscious never sleeps.
    1. Never sleep with TV / radio on. If so play music with no lyrics
    2. When you drive with the radio , the ads, and songs are programming your subconscious as your focus is the road.
    3. Be aware of “zoning out” or endless scrolling on social media. Every post and ad is still affecting your subconscious and you’re acting with no intention.
  3. Living with no intentions/ no purpose is just as bad as having ill/ bad intentions. Accidents happen to people who do both.
    1. Children typically have no / to basic intentions making them prone to accidents and mistakes . Which is why responsible adults must protect them with the BEST intentions.
    2. Overdrinking, drugs, blacking out removes the intention of a person and they will do something they don’t intend, become vulnerable to other people’s will or be involved in accidents.
    3. People with bad intentions are attracted to those with no intentions.
  4. Don’t try to manifest specific people romantically.
    1. Manifesting people will make you become prone to whatever their intention is.
    2. If your intention is relationship and theirs is just sex or no intention, you will only get them temporarily.
    3. Manifest commitment, love, security and the right person for you will be attracted.
    4. In order for relationships to work , intentions must be the same or at the very least in alignment.

Saturn Retrograde June 5th

Saturn is about rules, obstacles, hard lessons, karma and responsibility. Aquarius is about our society, the collective and how we relate to each other. Saturn is an ancient ruler to Aquarius so , unlike Capricorn, it expresses itself as “new rules” or innovating society in some way. Of course we’ve seen that in spades this past couple of years. When retrograde, think of Saturn as taking an audit of what’s happened and if it’s working. Saturn will be doing this all Summer all the way until October.

Personally you have to see where Saturn falls in your birth chart to know how it will affect you. It’s in my 3rd house of mind and social life, also where my moon is . Lately, i’ve been auditing how I feel about things and people. Then I got this for a spread on myself on how Saturn will affect my life.

if this doesnt show how tired of bullshit I am … I don’t know what does. This next few months will be a time for me to love myself (ace of cups reversed )and stop putting thoughts on things and people that don’t matter (10 of swords) .

If you need a reading about this Saturn transit for you… let me know. Book it today

No Distractions

This Mercury retrograde season has not been nice to me. My TV broke down and I thought I’d get it repaired for cheap but nope it’s a dud. They just don’t make TVs like they used to. Sure … the old ones were heavy dinosaurs that were practically like furniture but this new ones are like all the new adults in society… just fragile.

All in all, its help me stay focused on the task at hand. When you’re not distracting yourself with TV, you start realizing how much time is in the day. Sure , you could look at the computer or your phone but it’s not the same as lounging on the couch, with some snacks, binging Stranger Things (which i haven’t been able to watch yet so please no spoilers)

I went ahead and bought another TV despite it being retrograde season. I bought it refurbished so maybe that counts for me working with the energy. Rule of thumb during retrograde do anything that starts with “RE”… which was why I tried to REpair it first. I hope you guys are having a better Mercury Rx season than me. lol

New moon time

Well today for this moon I’m going to set my intention on … getting out more. Lawd have mercy I’ve become a hermit! I remember as a kid I would ride my bike around the city … literally!

When I was in my 20s I would drive to the next city or state because ….I was bored.what happened to that guy?

Now …I’m just sitting at home every weekend watching tv ugh. I can do better.lol . I got invited to a shindig in DeSoto …a suburb of Dallas and the hermit in me said “that’s alot of gas…stay home”

Nope Mr. Old hermit! I’m going to socialize and not nap my life away! (I’ll try…😫) What are you setting you intentions on this new moon?

The World is insane…

I will say one thing… If you want to sleep, having this card by your bed while you sleep ain’t it. The Levitator is about seeing the big picture. Here I’m thinking I’m gonna astral project or something and the most disturbing dreams came to me…

Everything is duality…the knowledge of good and evil and we keep eating off that damn tree.

All in all without sounding crazy… This world is crazy. It’s about the children. It’s always about the children. Maybe its because they have so much pure soul energy.

Bad people do things to children who either die or grow up disturbed and then, when those disturbed grow up and do things, the bad people who instigated things pretend to be good.

There are good people…but the pretenders run alot of stuff in the world … Government, Religion, and Entertainment. (Notice that’s where we always hear about some sort of secret child abuse scandal). And those main three really are all about controlling good people. These three control by distracting, dividing , and promoting fear . These are strong Powers… Like a snake with 3 heads. Pure evil.

Knowing Emotional Triggers 😭

I’ve been sleeping with an oracle card by my bed and lemme tell you…😳. The shit that comes to me while I sleep.

Okay… The moon card is a our subconscious. The illusions or the things that decieve us. The stuff we can’t see.

I had a lot of dreams last night again. Won’t go into it but I woke up thinking… “I got abandonment issues” . I hate waiting on people. I’ll tell you why. Prepare for a long story.

When I was kid in 1st grade many moons ago…

I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up from school. Usually I was the first one to get picked up. But this day… Was different. I found myself playing and waiting with kids until soon… I was the only one waiting by the flagpole. Even teachers were leaving and going home. Some noticed and were like, “Are you okay?”

I always reassured them, “my parents are coming. I’m fine.” This was a different time. It was the 80s . No one called my parents or nothing! 😂. But I was getting worried…and cold. One teacher suggested I wait inside. So I went inside and sat on the floor in the foyer. It got dark early so then I really got scared and my little mind started to wander.

In the 80s … Punky Brewster, Different strokes , and Webster were a thing…all about kids losing their parents or getting left somewhere. All I could think was ” They forgot about me…ME!

The janitor came sweeping by asking if was okay. I told him yeah, they’re coming. (ah the faith of a little child) But deep down I wasn’t sure. Again… The 80s…no one called. 🙄 . Every car that drove by ,I’d peep my head up and when it didn’t stop I sunk back down into the corner. I think I cried for a second and sucked it back up.

Photo by Picture Squash on Pexels.com

Finally a honk! I jumped up with excitement and ran to the car .

I don’t remember saying anything. My mom apologized and said my dad was supposed to come get me today but he was working late. When everyone got home they realized oops ! (Like a Home Alone prequel called School Alone) I don’t remember showing any emotion… I was mad. I held it in.

Fast fwd to the 90s …

Freshmen year and just got out of track practice after school. This time my stepdad was supposed to pick me up. I sat there about an hour before those old feelings stirred up. I was forgotten….again. Mind you we didn’t have cell phones then, no money for a payphone, and I wasn’t about to ask a teacher for help 🙄. So I took my heavy ass backpack and yup…walked several miles home.

I got home at night around mmm 6pm . It was dark and even the neighborhood kids like “damn you just getting back from school?” (You know how kids are) No one said anything about forgetting to pick me up. But I was a teen…I didn’t care anymore. Nope. Not waiting on anybody anymore.

So yeah…. I got issues. 😂 Waiting is hard. And at the same time, I don’t like people waiting on me so I try to be on time every time which is good I guess. (To be early is to be on time). But anytime I feel I’m waiting too long, that inner child resentment pops up and that inner teen says … Start walking!

In Conclusion…

Everyone has some inner child issue that gets triggered when we are adults. Parents aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. Some of us have had fucked up parents or none at all. Some people have had way worse things happen to them in their childhood.

We all have coping methods to protect that inner child. That coping can be good or bad. When we understand our past trauma and our coping method, we can understand what triggers us and consciously decide what’s the best way to deal with our inner child.

Wow that was alot to unpack. Sorry, it’s Gemini season what can I tell you, my brain is moving.

Letting Go

I do tarot and know astrology and at times , it can be quite obsessive of trying to know what’s coming to the point where you’re not even living anymore. Even when I’m doing a reading for repeat clients, they often get caught in a loop asking the same questions week after week.

At some point we all need to take personal responsibility, have faith the universe heard your prayer and live with the energy that things will work out. Our prayers are like birds and they can’t fly on a leash.

Taking Time to heal

I had this dream of this man who had an injured leg. It was wrapped in a cast but the cast broke and only a few pieces were still attached to his leg. I told him don’t walk on it, it’ll just make it worse. I told him I would find something to wrap it with. On my journey, I looked down and noticed I had a large scab on the top of my foot. I was walking on the beach and sand had gotten all into it and tried to wipe it off and the scab came off revealing a large open sore now.

Photo by Victoria Borodinova on Pexels.com

I knew that couldn’t be good so I stopped my first journey to find a bandaid for my foot. How can I walk around with an open wound? For some reason, people started getting in my way during this pursuit for bandaid. I just pushed them aside and jumped around like Superman until I found a cabin with first aid. I grabbed a large bandaid and slapped that sucker on my foot and grabbed some gauze for the man. Sidenote: A Samuel L. Jackson movie was playing on the tv in the cabin. Random I know…

When I woke, I had these thoughts of not only healing but realizing when you’ve been hurt. It’s during that time, where your focus should go back to yourself. When we work on finding the right tools to heal ourselves , we equip ourselves with more tools to help others.