It is way too early to be awake.

don’t you hate it when you have to wake up to pee and cant get back to sleep?

imageIt wasn’t like it was the best sleep but I woke up an hour ago.. then the dog had to pee. Ugh. Luckily its Friday. I created some new intros for my Youtube channel to spice it up some .. be a little more professional. Gonna start a new segment too, MY TWO CENTS … a review show for entertainment and food places. Hopefully that’ll get me some new subscribers. My goal is to have 500 more this year. That’ll be cool. Trying to convince the boyfriend to let me produce a cooking segment with him in it…he’s a really good cook and he has an accent so I think that would be interesting.

OMG I feel bloated…. I know… TMI. I drank some dairy last night and well.. you know.  Gotta stop doing that. I usually try some new health kick to see if it works for me and I haven’t decided what to do yet. Vegan maybe… I really like meat tho… I dunno bout that.  I’m having those “New year and Im not happy with my body ” feelings… yeah I know, everybody does it. But I tend to do it all year. Time to stop complaining and do something..  Having a sit down job for 8 hours 5 days a week and not doing nothing when you get home takes its toll. Gonna go jog and come back… a little bit a day. Best way to eat an elephant….

one bite at a time. Best way to look like an elephant… ummm.. one bite at a time as well …lol


First watch the video above. I actually saw this after I decided to blog about this particular subject. It’s been on my mind to talk about this. Also view my video about this subject of being spiritually online from my pov.

Okay. So the question here is HOW to get spiritually online. You can have a computer, a broswer, and tons of programs but you may never get online without a modem with internet connection. Your internet connection is a manifestation in the physical realm of your supernatural “inner-net” connection. [picapp align=”left” wrap=”true” link=”term=man+online&iid=259770″ src=”″ width=”234″ height=”331″ /]As much as I abhor organized religion, it can get you connection. It just seems that some of the larger companies (ie religions) charge more, have tight contracts, and have hidden fees. But either way…the internet (or your spirituality) is free. You don’t need to OWN a connection you just need a modem that can receive signals. Are you spiritually receptive? If you are then you can find that one server (or religious idea) that can “serve” you the purpose of getting connected.

If you notice, getting online in our physical world is getting faster and faster. So is the same with the spiritual world. Right now everyone wants to access the 4G network (or 4th generation) …which so far is the fastest. This way you get information faster through whatever device you use. So is the same with spirituality. If you are still functioning on old servers that use dial up you may be spiritually online just not receiving “spiritual awareness” in the fastest way possible. [picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=man+online&iid=186616″ src=”″ width=”234″ height=”156″ /]

At this point in time, it is imperative for people to continue to upgrade themselves spiritually and to receive and give spiritual information as quickly as possible.

[picapp align=”left” wrap=”true” link=”term=man+computer&iid=7291947″ src=”″ width=”234″ height=”156″ /]

Do you know who you are really? Are you your online profile? Or is your online profile just representative of who you are? How people see you in this world is no more the true nature of who you are any more than your online profile is. Our “username”, our likes, the things we want to share, our social network connections are just representations of our lives. But there’s way more. You are the mind behind the profile. You are the mind OUTSIDE the computer not IN it.

In my video I spoke about programs. Your programs are the ideas in your mind that you have access to. They are the beliefs and gifts that you have. Some people use maybe one program but have many many programs on their “hard drive” . But if you don’t know you have them…you can’t use them.

When you are spiritually online, not only can you automatically upgrade all your programs but you download new programs to use in your daily life. Much like that matrix scene.

Ahh I love the matrix fight scenes… if only for that. But the ideas are good too.

Take time to know YOUR PROGRAMS and make sure that there are no programs that have been downloaded into your hard drive that you didn’t put there. It is up the operator (you) to remove any programs that you have that you don’t want. ONLY you can do that.

Free your mind.
[picapp align=”center” wrap=”false” link=”term=man+online&iid=110936″ src=”″ width=”234″ height=”156″ /]

Creative Boredom

So my friend Calvin says that I get creative when I get bored. It must be true.

ANYwhooo. So far the whole Clear contracting thing has been working out. Slow, but working. I made a couple of sales this week. Nothing to pay a major bill but at least its helping with money. Me and some friends (is that good grammar? whatever) me and some friends are working on a horror movie script so that should be cool. When I get some more money I plan to put some more marketing on Heaven Sent: the Ring of Death. No plans for the 4th yet. I’m hearing of a lot of parties so we’ll see. Gotta find me a weekend date.

I feel like things are Getting Better

Well, good news,
Got a new laptop. The old one went to that office supply store in the sky. Well this isnt actually new…its used but its still in good shape. I got a pretty good deal at a little shop by some guy named Jose.

Now I will commence to do the video blogs again. I know , you’ve missed them right? Well I’ve missed doing them! I just have to find some private time to do them. My roommate has brought yet another person into the apartment. It’s four including me…in a studio. Can we say cramped? There must be some Universal lesson I’m supposed to be learning. I want so bad to find a place with my OWN room so i can do things like well…sleep naked. ha ha. But no I’m fa real.

still job hunting but I’m going to try to find things in my expertise now…ya know, art, acting, writing….

ALSO lately I feel the desire to be in a committed relationship. Ya know the feeling when you see people holding hands and you stop and think for a second or everytime you hear a certain song you sigh. Yeah that’s me right now.
ANY HOW that’s all I have to say for the day …peace out.

Why People are More Comfortable with Lesbians than Gay Men

I have found at least in the main media, that most people are highly comfortable with lesbianism but not male homosexuality. I have a theory about this so if continue reading if you will.

This is pretty much a male dominated society but yet women control a lot about how men react to things. So there’s this 50-50 exchange of ideas and control. Lesbian women or at the very least women who flirt with the idea, pose no threat to male sexuality or sexual identity. Two women together don’t even threaten their own femininity and it would seem that they become EMPOWERED because they express the ability sexually that they don’t need a man.

The heterosexual man, however still is able to see himself in these women’s lives because, as stated before, it’s a male dominated society and lesbian or not, it’s dangerous for a woman by herself (unless she has a gun, dog or something) So they guy says to himself,

“Hey she has a need…i still have a chance”

I will even go as to say even sexually he says,

“Wow, two Pussies…and nothing getting filled…there’s a need…I still have a chance.”

This is his mind. What he may not realize is that she may not want to be penetrated or she may have alternate ways of doing so. They only lesbian threat to the heterosexual male is the stud female who says,

“Not only do I not need you sexually, but I don’t need you to protect me either, AND I can please a woman better than you.”

This woman is so much like him that he is not attracted to her and most of the time these strong lesbians are the object of gay bashing if any.

On the adverse side, male homosexuality poses a threat to heterosexual men only to one issue…..Straight men feel that being gay means religuishing your masculinity or becoming less of a man. This is not necessarily true. This is only because the media chooses to focus on the most feminine of gay men and the most masculine of gay men choose to stay in shadows. Just like the stud lesbian who has traded in her feminine identity, there are some men who have traded their masculine identity for more softer tones and some in the hetero society find this difficult to accept as most try so hard to define, uphold, and retain what they consider masculine and feminine especially when it comes to relationships.

Where the feminine gay male gets much smack about his sexual orientation, you find far less masculine men getting as much trouble. I saw one dude at the gym who was big and brawny, he appeared to have that biker look. He had a tank top and on his arm he had tattoos of intertwining dicks and male symbol signs. He was obviously gay and proud and so big I doubt anybody would fuck with him. My point is, although he was gay he posed no threat to male masculinity, in fact he seemed to love his own (nothing wrong with that).

I find that homesexual/bisexual men who are masculine and love their masculinity seemed to be more so accepted in the heterosexual world. Straight men love their masculinity too, they have something in common. A straight man can talk about lifting weights, sports, politics, or even sex with a masculine gay male in a way he cannot with a feminine male.

Why is that? Perhaps the feminine male feels more in common with females or is oblivious to what masculinity even is. Because of that, he tries harder to express himself (he is still a man) and this comes off as FLAMBOYANT. The heterosexual male says,

” I can’t relate to this guy and I don’t need him in my life.”

The feminine male’s rejection of his his masculinity expresses itself as masculine men (gay or str8) reject him.

As times change, and we begin to see more MASCULINE homo and bisexual men come to the forefront, then we begin to see the heterosexual world begin to relate more become more comfortable as they see more diversity within the LGBT community and relize that being gay is not just a “feminine” thing .

In my own bisexuality I have had no issue with my straight friends and often enjoy debating on what they consider right or wrong when it comes to sexuality. I also find that there are SO MANY masculine men who may identify as straight but that may not be necessarily true. As the world becomes more accepting, hopefully these individuals will accept themselves. So I am making this theory based off my own experience and my observation of other masculine men and people’s response to them. If you have had a different experience please feel free to share, comment, or send a note.