LGBT ISSUES: Acceptance Vs. Tolerance

It’s 2018 and the year of 2019 is on the horizon. Our present world in the past few years has legalized marriage equality and a many young LGBT people see a hope in the future that those before them couldn’t even imagine. I life out of the shadows. A normal life.

But as LGBT Americans, like myself, move forward on this new hope to create our lives and be able to live our lives in peace we can’t be naive and believe that everybody is on board with such ideals. Being an American Black person I’m not naive that racist people exist and continue to raise their children to do the same. I’m not naive when I see blatant misogyny towards women in society either. But I also believe this America, and while we are fighting for our freedoms we also need to give people the freedom to be who they are…( no matter how backwards that may be. ) Which is why I believe tolerance should be something that is strived for and not so much acceptance. Give me a second and I’ll explain why.

No matter what group you identify with it seems everyone wants someone else to accept them. I think social media has created this NEED to be accepted. But honestly, that’s not reality. Acceptance is something you can’t force and it’s definitely something that doesn’t happen overnight.


  1. 1.the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.” charges involving the acceptance of bribes” synonyms: receipt, receiving, taking, obtaining More
  2. 2.the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

When you accept someone or something, you allow it into your life completely. People that I personally typically accept become my friends… they know me and I know them. Tolerance, on the other hand, is different. You’re not particularly in my life insomuch you’re just a part of the many aspects of my life.


  1. 1.the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

When I tolerate something. I don’t have to agree with it. I just acknowledge it exists and respect its ability to exist. So, for example, I accept my friends and I tolerate some of my co-workers (no names need to be said).

The Problem

In this politically correct world, we’ve moved from people preaching tolerance to people demanding acceptance. Demanding acceptance is like saying:


Demanding acceptance whether it be sexual preference, racial, gender identity, weight, or whatever from people who typically may not accept you will only backfire and cause those other people to feel stifled and to retaliate in an even more hateful manner.

Why would anyone demand someone else to like them anyhow? We don’t really need that. What we need is tolerance. What we need is for people to have the freedom to believe what they want and live their lives as they want without someone else interfering on their personal freedom or beliefs.

“So you’re saying we should tolerate racist, sexist, religious bigots?”

Actually, more or less yes. Racism didn’t end with Martin Luther King Jr. and homophobia didn’t end when marriage equality was legalized. Those people will still exist. Trying to get those people to accept you is a waste of energy. (Use that energy to accept yourself.. that’s another blog) I tolerate bigots and racists exist but once they move into action to interfere in my life that’s when we have problems. So if they wanna wave their confederate flag (at home) and hate gay folk…that’s their right. But when they decide that it should be expressed in front of my house, expressed online to demean and attack, or they want to keep me out a job because of my race or sexual orientation, then it’s impeding on my freedoms.

The Solution

“The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” 

-Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

It’s simple. When you tolerate people, you may not like them but you respect them as human beings and treat them as you would like them to treat you. Anything less is disrespectful. You see if we all practice tolerance then everyone can live peacefully. When people go beyond tolerance, then they go on the offensive. Intolerance is the only thing that can not be accepted. 

Montré Bible is a five-time published author and is releasing his new novel Sons of Heaven on Dec 21, 2018


Two men holding hands and watching a sunset at the beach

I don’t understand this desire for gay men to be so discrete. I don’t want to be a hypocrite though. Before I came out I was the same. But now that I’m out and I date I find the same guys. Perhaps it’s karma.

To me , it makes me feel like you’re ashamed to be around me, like we’re doing something wrong. I don’t worry about others. I’m a free spirit. I don’t want to feel limited in my expression in love. I don’t want to feel like someone’s secret.

I know what I want. When I dated a female I treated her the same. Like I want to be treated. If I date a guy I shouldn’t have to change. Love is… an expression. I’m artist, don’t tell me what and how to paint. If you like it great… if you don’t like it great. I made you feel something.

Who cares what people think? What can they do? What can they say? Does it matter?

Online Dating in Generation X #LGBT

I don’t even know why I call it online dating … might as well just call it dating. In my universe there’s not too many ways to get to know a person. My life is consumed with the internet (working in social media) and I try to go out when I have money and time, but then I want to hang out friends. Drunken bar hookups seem just so… unromantic. lol. So I’m using my tools to see how this works.. (versus my tool) . So far I’ve checked out Tinder on my phone and OkCupid. I’ve gotten more feedback and conversation on OKcupid. Maybe cause the guys in my neighborhood are not the “dating” types. But I do live smack dab in the middle of the gayborhood close to all the bars so…there you have those “drunken bar hookups” just on my phone app. Not that I don’t mind a drink or two and whatever happens-happens it’s just I would like to do something more–ya know like a stroll to Klyde Warren park or hit up White rock Lake or something. My close friend told me that I have to put the intention out there that I’m serious. So hey… can’t put it out there better than writing it down can I? I’m a hopeful romantic. I like a lot of guys, I think a lot of guys are cute, it’s just none are quite fitting with my life at this moment. I’m a generation X guy that can easily date older or younger at this moment. I like partying but I don’t want to do it all the time. I like chilling with netflix but I don’t want to be at home all the time. I just need a fine balance of the two… an active and passive relationship/lifestyle. Eh, I don’t want to overthink it.

The Problem with Gay Dating

Being gay and trying to find a mate is not as simple as one would think. First of all it’s not something every parent grooms their sons to do. So most guys, don’t know the first thing to do when approaching another guy. We revert to a primal caveman like way of speaking to each other… the stare, the smile, the grunt “sup” “me want sex” type of conversation. And true enough gay men relationships are quite different from hetero relationships and lesbian relationships. We eat our dessert first and then pick through the entre last. Then and only then, after our belly is full do we consider paying the bill or leaving the table without even a tip. Yes, it can be a crazy world with men, sex, and love… but the fun is the process.  The younger generation is more out of the closet but seems to rely soley on electronic forms of communication, while the older generation may be more prone to communication face to face but tends to have issues with being public about their sexuality. One day I’m sure this won’t be an issue as balance happens.  The second issue would be opposition. Not only from homophobes who hiss and throw bibles when you’re on a romantic date but even other gay guys who are bitter because they can’t find someone. There are tons of subcultures in gaydom.(twinks, bears, trade, gaymers) .. dating outside of that or even dating outside your race can make other gays gossip about you negatively. We all want acceptance and somebody to love us fully. Social acceptance is just as importance as romantic love acceptance. But most importantly is personal love acceptance. If you don’t love yourself and respect your SELF you can’t accept or even expect people to love you fully.

New Black Homophobic Bigot seeks Fame

OMG people keep sending me this video and I thought I would make some comments since he is making so many people upset. Thaddeus Matthews, who recently made a video accusing a pastor of being gay is making cyber waves with his blatantly homophobic remarks. Video below

At first it seems that Matthews is upset at the pastor’s hypocrisy of preaching against homosexuality and then engaging in it undercover. Matthews states “he has nothing against gay people” but continually refers to gay men in the church as sissies and tells the pastor “something is wrong with him”. The entire video is filled with hatred and one can only wonder if Matthew’s attack is on the pastor or homosexuals in the church in general. I for one am not in the church any longer because of bigots like this and this is just one example of the mentality that is still prevalent in the black community. This mentality is why so many young black gay men have internalized self hatred and do destructive, abusive activities to themselves or simply feel they are unworthy of love. This mentality makes young black gay men feel less than other black men or that they have failed in what it means to be a strong man. His generalizations do nothing but incite more negative energy and rabble rouse the masses.

My guess is he picked a hot button so he could get more followers. Well played Matthews… well played.

But if that wasn’t enough he continues to say the pastor’s church is littered with lesbians. If this man isn’t trying to be famous he sure has a powerful gaydar. “The lady doth protest too much” 

Who is he? Some radio guy… don’t care

What does he want? Attention obviously

I think it’s sad but I’m sure some people will gather to support him. I don’t have much to say. I already know there are religious homophobic bigots in the church. It’s why I avoid the church. Nothing much has changed. Granted, other than this one post,  I have no interest to hear this guy talk any more his negativity on my newsfeed.

I’m going BUCK WILD over this….

Okay so I showed my sister Buck Angel who is this female transgender male and she was floored! This dude looks amazing. (he still has a female cooter too.. .can I say that? Cooter? ) I can’t show what he looks like naked you’ll just have to google image him but here’s a clip of the a youtube video

Alot of these transmen look so natural its incredible!! I would take a second look… too bad a lot of transmen like girls.

Transmen and Transwomen are a big part of the LGBT community and have a set of their own struggles all by themselves. I don’t know alot about it but I try to educate myself .

I think my Youtube war is almost over…

For those that have been keeping up on my “antics” I have been writing Youtube support all week about restoring my video montization and I think I’m being heard. Having done online support I know as long as you keep the ticket open they will escalate it … customer support hates open tickets so I was pretty notorious with that “reply” button. I’m just a little Youtuber trying to follow the rules.. I shouldnt be punished if I’m following the rules, stop cock blocking me. Next on my agenda, I’m going to start looking for other youtubers to network with that might want to do a collab. The search is on. 

The Fine Line Between Belief and Bigotry : (My 2 cents on the Duck Dynasty Fiasco)


So today in the news, it seems that everyone online is talking about  Phil Robertson (ya know the backwoods guy who looks like a red neck Osama Bin Laden) and his comments about homosexuals (and might I add) African American people (since they both involve me and these comments are coming from a heterosexual Caucasian man and his thoughts on the matter) .  Of course, he said nothing that I wouldn’t expect from someone in his demographic. I wasn’t surprised. If you didn’t hear about his comments that later suspended him from his TV show, he claimed homosexuality later leads to bestiality, that vagina is better than anus (is he saying this from experience?)  and went on to further say black folks were happy during segregation and weren’t as unhappy as people say they were blah blah blah ( a bunch of ignorant talk) I will post the article here read it later: .

Last time I checked, I had a boyfriend and no way desired to have sex with my dog and even though I was born during a different time, I can safely say that African Americans are better off now than they were during the Jim Crow laws. People now are jumping on the bandwagon and saying that good ol Phil’s freedom of speech rights are being violated because he was basically taken off air because of his comments. It’s gotten so politically heated that Sarah Palin is jumping in to offer her support to allow Phil Robertson to say what he feels. So… here’s me… expressing my freedom of speech about Phil Robertson’s freedom of speech (it’s the American way) :

I could care less about what Phil Robertson thinks about homosexuals. Yes he has the right to express what he says but , when you are a public figure (ie. on televison) you are representing a brand. It’s like if you are work (Mcdonalds, the Gap, or maybe you work customer service at AT&T or something) and you say something offensive to a customer, well.. your job may be on the line. You have freedom of speech to say you don’t like this that or the other for whatever reason; but if the Brand doesn’t represent your thoughts or actions and you put their reputation on the line, they have the right to let you go.

Now the problem I find is that people have a hard time understanding how to express their beliefs without expressing bigotry. This is because they haven’t been taught nor felt the need to do so because it’s only recently that the world has moved from isolated societies to a melting pot of human thought because of the internet and cable TV. So with that, let’s define bigotry or what a bigot is:


noun \ˈbi-gət\

: a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people, ideas, etc. : a bigoted person; especially : a person who hates or refuses to accept the members of a particular group (such as a racial or religious group)

Full Definition of BIGOT

:  a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially :  one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance
— big·ot·ed  adjective
— big·ot·ed·ly adverb

Examples of BIGOT

  1. He was labeled a bigot after making some offensive comments.
  2. <an incorrigible bigot who hasn’t entertained a new thought in years>
  3. “It’s scandalous,” he said, in the tones once used by Colonel Blimp, Britain’s best-loved bigot, who adorned the pages of the Evening Standard throughout the 1930s. —Nicholas Fraser, Harper’s, September 1996
  4. [+]more

Origin of BIGOT

French, hypocrite, bigot

First Known Use: 1660

Related to BIGOT

dogmatistdogmatizerpartisan (also partizan), sectarian

bigotNow a lot of people may not think what they are saying is out of hate. In fact, they believe they are just expressing their beliefs out of love (I would hate to see how they talk to people they actually hate) . But his comments about his belief went as far as much as saying, “I’m right and whatever you are is wrong” goes into being a bigot. Once you say  “you’re wrong….” you have cast a judgement.  The better way is to say, “ I believe in Christianity so homosexuality isn’t for me, I don’t understand it, but I don’t judge those who do it.”  Even the Pope took a way better respectful way to express his religious belief regarding homosexuals.

I don’t expect a heterosexual, practicing Christian to understand homosexuality. I’m surprised if they do! But you can not hide bigotry behind religious belief. People are members of a particular religion to consult the “divine” to be better people. When you take your belief to express your distaste for something you are not…especially if it relates to a group of people to basically belittle them then don’t be surprised that they don’t just “bend over and take it” but decide to fuck you over instead . Your freedom ends where my mine begins. Phil Roberston is welcome to believe whatever god he wants, talk about how its made him a good straight man, and how he loves keeping Christ in Christmas. I could care less. That’s his freedom. If he wants to express bigotry and get support, then he should own his brand, start a blog, get on and gather like-minded bigots together (*cough KKK) . But hey, I don’t watch the show any how. He doesn’t represent me or any group I’m in. He represents …the good old south Bible believing Christians. If anybody should know how to “not judge” and have “unconditional love” is should be Christians.  Ah well, the struggle continues.