It’s 2018 and the year of 2019 is on the horizon. Our present world in the past few years has legalized marriage equality and a many young LGBT people see a hope in the future that those before them couldn’t even imagine. I life out of the shadows. A normal life.
But as LGBT Americans, like myself, move forward on this new hope to create our lives and be able to live our lives in peace we can’t be naive and believe that everybody is on board with such ideals. Being an American Black person I’m not naive that racist people exist and continue to raise their children to do the same. I’m not naive when I see blatant misogyny towards women in society either. But I also believe this America, and while we are fighting for our freedoms we also need to give people the freedom to be who they are…( no matter how backwards that may be. ) Which is why I believe tolerance should be something that is strived for and not so much acceptance. Give me a second and I’ll explain why.
No matter what group you identify with it seems everyone wants someone else to accept them. I think social media has created this NEED to be accepted. But honestly, that’s not reality. Acceptance is something you can’t force and it’s definitely something that doesn’t happen overnight.
ac·cept·ance/əkˈseptəns/noun
- 1.the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.” charges involving the acceptance of bribes” synonyms: receipt, receiving, taking, obtaining More
- 2.the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.
When you accept someone or something, you allow it into your life completely. People that I personally typically accept become my friends… they know me and I know them. Tolerance, on the other hand, is different. You’re not particularly in my life insomuch you’re just a part of the many aspects of my life.
tol·er·ance/ˈtäl(ə)rəns/noun
- 1.the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
When I tolerate something. I don’t have to agree with it. I just acknowledge it exists and respect its ability to exist. So, for example, I accept my friends and I tolerate some of my co-workers (no names need to be said).
The Problem
In this politically correct world, we’ve moved from people preaching tolerance to people demanding acceptance. Demanding acceptance is like saying:
“YOU BETTER LIKE ME OR I’LL POST YOUR NAME ON TWITTER AND GET YOU FIRED!”
Demanding acceptance whether it be sexual preference, racial, gender identity, weight, or whatever from people who typically may not accept you will only backfire and cause those other people to feel stifled and to retaliate in an even more hateful manner.
Why would anyone demand someone else to like them anyhow? We don’t really need that. What we need is tolerance. What we need is for people to have the freedom to believe what they want and live their lives as they want without someone else interfering on their personal freedom or beliefs.
“So you’re saying we should tolerate racist, sexist, religious bigots?”
Actually, more or less yes. Racism didn’t end with Martin Luther King Jr. and homophobia didn’t end when marriage equality was legalized. Those people will still exist. Trying to get those people to accept you is a waste of energy. (Use that energy to accept yourself.. that’s another blog) I tolerate bigots and racists exist but once they move into action to interfere in my life that’s when we have problems. So if they wanna wave their confederate flag (at home) and hate gay folk…that’s their right. But when they decide that it should be expressed in front of my house, expressed online to demean and attack, or they want to keep me out a job because of my race or sexual orientation, then it’s impeding on my freedoms.
The Solution
“The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.”
-Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
It’s simple. When you tolerate people, you may not like them but you respect them as human beings and treat them as you would like them to treat you. Anything less is disrespectful. You see if we all practice tolerance then everyone can live peacefully. When people go beyond tolerance, then they go on the offensive. Intolerance is the only thing that can not be accepted.
Montré Bible is a five-time published author and is releasing his new novel Sons of Heaven on Amazon.com Dec 21, 2018
Drunken bar hookups seem just so… unromantic. lol. So I’m using my tools to see how this works.. (versus my tool) . So far I’ve checked out Tinder on my phone and OkCupid. I’ve gotten more feedback and conversation on OKcupid. Maybe cause the guys in my neighborhood are not the “dating” types. But I do live smack dab in the middle of the gayborhood close to all the bars so…there you have those “drunken bar hookups” just on my phone app. Not that I don’t mind a drink or two and whatever happens-happens it’s just I would like to do something more–ya know like a stroll to Klyde Warren park or hit up White rock Lake or something. 
My close friend told me that I have to put the intention out there that I’m serious. So hey… can’t put it out there better than writing it down can I? I’m a hopeful romantic. I like a lot of guys, I think a lot of guys are cute, it’s just none are quite fitting with my life at this moment. I’m a generation X guy that can easily date older or younger at this moment. I like partying but I don’t want to do it all the time. I like chilling with netflix but I don’t want to be at home all the time. I just need a fine balance of the two… an active and passive relationship/lifestyle. Eh, I don’t want to overthink it.
Yes, it can be a crazy world with men, sex, and love… but the fun is the process. The younger generation is more out of the closet but seems to rely soley on electronic forms of communication, while the older generation may be more prone to communication face to face but tends to have issues with being public about their sexuality. One day I’m sure this won’t be an issue as balance happens. The second issue would be opposition. Not only from homophobes who hiss and throw bibles when you’re on a romantic date but even other gay guys who are bitter because they can’t find someone. There are tons of subcultures in gaydom.(twinks, bears, trade, gaymers) .. dating outside of that or even dating outside your race can make other gays gossip about you negatively. We all want acceptance and somebody to love us fully. Social acceptance is just as importance as romantic love acceptance. But most importantly is personal love acceptance. If you don’t love yourself and respect your SELF you can’t accept or even expect people to love you fully.
See bigot defined for English-language learners »