Sexual Orientation vs Preference

As a bisexual male I am sometimes accused of many things. I have been called all sorts of names but to add on that I am sometimes accused of being confused, greedy, promiscuous, or going through a phase. I am non of these things, and while I am attractive and I have had my “pick of the litter” I am quite picky to whom I decide to spread my “royal oats” with. But this blog isn’t about me. It’s about the misunderstanding that society seems to have when I say that I am bisexual. It is society’s confusion that I will attempt to clarify.

The problem here is when people think you are talking about sexual preference when you are talking about sexual orientation. Those are two different things and shouldn’t be lumped together. Many times I understand that the LGBT community will be talking about sexual orientation while the religious community will be discussing sexual preference.

Look up the definitions for yourself. Orientation is the awareness that one has about their self. It is the beliefs that they have concluded based upon their own experiences. No one can tell you your sexual orientation. You don’t even choose your sexual orientation…it just is. You figure it out based upon how you feel and we all know you can’t control how you feel you can only control what you do with your feelings. (express or repress)

Sexual preference is what you decide. Prefence is defined as what you favor over another option. For example I like both mexican food and italian food…but on any given day I PREFER mexican. But don’t get me wrong…place some pasta in front of me and I will love it just as much!

This is how bisexuality is.

A bisexual simply has experienced both genders and finds sex pleasurable and comfortable with both. HOWEVER, a bisexual may have a sexual preference as homosexual or even heterosexual. In truth, there are many bisexual men and women who have a sexual preference of heterosexual. A poll taken on a dating site concluded that 50% of proclaimed heterosexual women have had or want to have a bisexual experience compared to the 15% of heterosexual men (however I think if the men were drunk the percentage would be higher) .

You can only choose one sexual preference at any given time, there is no bisexual sexual preference. BUT preference is not fixed, you can prefer to be homosexual today and heterosexual tomorrow. (which is what the religious community encourages)

On the flip side

Sexual orientation is fixed. You can’t control that …it is who you are and you should choose your preference based upon that. A person who has a sexual orientation of homosexual will never feel anything for the opposite sex. He/she ,however, may choose to live the sexual preference of heterosexuality because the lifestyle is more acceptable in society to some degree; but these individuals usually live very unhappy and unsatisfied lives.

What happens if a heterosexual oriented person chooses to prefer homosexuals? It is very unlikely to say the least. But I have heard of heterosexuals who are bi-curious and never act on it. Straight girls kissing other girls, bromances, gay for pay, these are examples of people who may be heterosexual normally but prefer the same gender for some outside reason other than TRUE sexual reasons.

Ideally, Homo or Hetero oriented people prefer their orientation.

So a person may be truly bisexual in their sexual orientation (beliefs, experiences, feelings) but their sexual preference may be just …gay. But sexual preference may not be dependent on genatalia for the bisexual. Many factors may come into play. But that depends on each individual person and circumstance. Tell me what you think. Do you agree or disagree? Is preference changable? Is orientation fixed? Speak your mind!

Universal Laws vs. Biblical Laws

I have some friends and family who are quick to pull a biblical scripture from the old or new testament and state that this is their claim to “success”. My own mother even claimed that I should give a “firstfruit” offering to get myself out of my financial difficulties.
Which provoked yet once again…my thoughts on the very antiquated mis-interpreted propaganda the western church has developed to get people to equate their financial state with their spiritual state.

First, for all my Christian peers who don’t study anything other than what your pastor deems “acceptable” answer me this question…

IF it is lawful in the old testament to give 10% of your income to your pastor the “Lord” then why is it that TORAH observant Jews today neither pay tithes or firstfruits to their synagogue?
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google it ….or click here
YEP…it’s true. JEWS know the old testament WAY better than Christians because that’s their primary source of spiritual knowledge. While most Christians pick only the old testament passages that are desirable.

The Bible (old testament) is a set of laws for the nation of ANCIENT Israel much like a constitution is used for America. The tithes was like their tax system and they used actual food not money. It was put into a store house for the Levitical preists and for those who were poor (welfare) at the end of the year the community ate what was left (tax returns).

Once you see that the Bible is collection of fables, poems, history, and mandates for a religious government (theocracy) for ONE NATION on this planet. You can begin to see things in their context.

WAKE up people. Your Church is robbing YOU if you feel OBLIGATEd to give 10% of your income or feel the wrath of GOD.( especially AFTER the govt takes that or more based off this system)

The universal truth is you reap what you sow…if you give you will receive. Karma–what you put out comes back to you. Nature is witness of that and that’s a universal law that all religions speak about.

So if you are blessed, thank the God of Creation but trust me…that God could care less if it’s 10% or 1%.

(btw. speaking of 10%…get 10% off the purchase of my novel Heaven Sent: the Ring of Death this month only with coupon code “READMORE2010” …go to the “my books” link)